You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
