I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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