David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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