i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
