so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
