worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just gargled with NyQuil
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