butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
