He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Randomize
