I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
