If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
