Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
