just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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