Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
