i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
