Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
