I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize