Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
