I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
