Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i out mim tonsoeep
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