Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have post one night stand depression
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