Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize