my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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