Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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