she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
