You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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