i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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