he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Even my vagina gasped.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize