so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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