I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I touched a dick in church today
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
