Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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