it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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