He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
