Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
