i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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