I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
