Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize