he puts the penis in happiness.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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