The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
