Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
