i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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