Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
