ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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