Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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