Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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