yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
