We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize