How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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