Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
