I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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