the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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