Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
