Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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