Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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