Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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