this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
