I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
