what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
