I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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