Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
