so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
