All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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