There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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