hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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