Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
